I found one aspect of this op-ed piece in the Times fascinating. Most of the piece deals with chemicals in plastics and birth defects which is all well and good but what blew me away is that there’s actually a word for the distance between your ass and your balls. It’s called “anogenital distance”. So really that thing I’ve always called the taint should be called the “anogenital expanse”. Or maybe, if you want to be metaphorical, the “anogenital ravine”, or perhaps the “anogenital valley” (Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of…).
This post over at the NY Times soccer blog got me thinking about putting together my own ugly starting 11. But I really want to put on the ugliest team possible. Shep Messing was being kind. No, Beckham does not belong on there and Landon Donovan is not ugly, just balding.
Now I’m having a little trouble putting together the team. Defense is my problem. My attackers I have pretty much figured out: Carlos Tevez and Franck Ribery for obvious reasons. Then Fernando Torres who always looks like he lost a slap fight and the one that I think takes the cake: Dirk Kuyt (Pictured Below) from Liverpool. This man is fugly. He looks like the love child between that dude from the goonies and post-transformation Alec Baldwin in Beetlejuice.
On Defense, particularly with goalkeepers, I’m having a little more trouble though I know they’re out there. I know my boy Carles Puyol would certainly be in the back four (Cut that hair man!).
For the rest I’d like some suggestions from you dear reader. Remember let’s try and keep them as ugly and as close to their actual positions as possible. Like I said, I especially need help with goalkeepers so send them in!
Snow also asked Palin whether, if she runs for president, she could avoid the “political blood sport” she cited as among the reasons she wanted to leave office.
“I don’t think it will be the day after day after day of ethics violation charges that are frivolous, that are ridiculous. I think on a national level your department of law there in the White House would look at this, the things we have been charged with, and automatically throw them out, not make somebody hire their own personal attorney to get out there and fight.”
I’ve never heard of this government agency, but I do have to wonder if perhaps it is close to the Ministry of Silly Walks.
It’s hard to put into words last night’s Wimbledon’s final. Roddick did everything right but lost. Federer uncharacteristically was not reading Roddick’s serve like a pop up book but won.
Also, at what point can we stop saying Federer is one of the greatest, or the greatest of his generation and just say greatest player ever? Maybe winning another final or two against Nadal?
It was hard not to feel bad for Roddick after the match. You could tell he really wanted it. I was impressed by how gracious the crowd was. They were supporting Roddick even when he played Murray and even as Roddick had his head underneath his towel, coming to terms with his defeat, they were chanting his name.
ARod says he still wants to come back and win it. I hope he does. Playing like he did last night there’s no reason he can’t. His Tennis keeps getting better and better and so do his press conferences.
Some excerpts:
Q. How would you describe what you did today?
ANDY RODDICK: I lost.
Q. When do you expect you’ll start feeling better and feeling sort of happy with how you performed and the occasion as opposed to the disappointment now?
ANDY RODDICK: I don’t know. I’m not a psychic. I’m a tennis player.
Q. In that sense, do you think sort of he’s the only person who you wouldn’t have beaten playing like that today?
ANDY RODDICK: I don’t know. That’s such an irrelevant question at this point. It’s complete hypothetical and guessing. I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know.
Let’s make sure to keep the drinking and driving to a minimum.
I’m going to celebrate America’s birthday by continuing to study for the Florida bar exam like the founding fathers intended. Blogging will be slow. In the meantime, enjoy this patriotic fare.
First, John Philip Sousa’s awesome march:
And second, My Country ‘Tis of Thee by Aretha. I looked for the Marion Anderson rendition in front of the Lincoln Memorial, but I couldn’t find a full version. Here’s a clip.
Happy birthday, America! You’re way more attractive when you’re not waterboarding people.
